got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
