Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Enjoy the penises
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
