I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
