My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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