Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize