Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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