I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
