living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
