WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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