Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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