Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
