Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
