i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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