Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think i have herpe
just one?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
