I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
