i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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