I need help removing her.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize