I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
