this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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