sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
