Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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