If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
