Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
