We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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