Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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