how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
