if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
