She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize