still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
