I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize