I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
