The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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