I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
