go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
