do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
