So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
