glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
