I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This baby is an asshole
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
