I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
