I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
