Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
