This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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