Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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