Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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