can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
