was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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