Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
