idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize