her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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