I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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