All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
