Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
These tits shall not be calmed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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