So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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