yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wish they made helmets for livers.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
