I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
