3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
