I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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