Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize