Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
