I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
