..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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