i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She announced her abortion via fbk
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
