Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
