I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
