he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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