That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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