i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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