these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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