I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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