remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
