so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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