i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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