I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
