Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
