Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
